Saturday, January 12, 2008

Very Few Attractive People Hang Out at Truck Stops

A big howdy to y’all from the mighty town of Abilene, Texas. Today’s drive (clocked at just under 10.5 hours) was pleasantly uneventful, so I’ll just give you the highlights while I watch the New England Patriots extend their 16-game streak of untouchability against the Jacksonville Luxury-Cars.

Highlights from Day 2:
+Got even better gas mileage today than Day 1.
+Made two-fewer stops today (Hardees for lunch, Subway for dinner, no dedicated bathroom stops. Probably a bad idea in retrospect)
+Declared Arkansas the worst state ever.
+Tried a different kind of Sobe energy drink today. Not thrilled with it, but I’m going to keep giving these guys a shot because the regular Sobe drinks are so freaking good, at least one type of their energy drinks must be decent.
+Ran over a cat doing about 80 miles an hour on the freeway. That is, I was doing about 80 —I don’t think the cat could’ve been going much faster than 10mph or so. On the upside, it was actually a Jeep that first hit the unlucky tan-and-white puffball and launched it into my path (the cat had decent hangtime) before I could react, so I’m pretty sure that it was already dead from that Jeep’s first hit, thus leaving my conscience clean and my PETA membership safe from revocation. +More awesome texts and calls today, keep ‘em coming! But note that I don’t respond to texts while I’m driving, so don’t take it personally if my reply-time is slower than usual.
+Drove through the first (and only) patch of rain thus far at the TexArkana border.
+Avoided all rush hours in all cities! Hooray!

And that’s about it. Be sure to come back tomorrow night to hear the latest from the trip and get an exclusive look at my new 12-step program on how to become an alcoholic. It’s guaranteed to change your life.*

Much love,
Dustin “I Don’t Actually Belong to PETA” Heveron

*Disclaimer: Guarantee for changed life does not necessarily imply that the aforementioned change will be for the better. Dustin Heveron Inc. assumes no responsibility for problems/fines/diseases incurred as a result of the program, including (but not limited to): alcoholism, herpes, leprosy, puppies, all felonious and/or criminal charges, “sexy dance moves,” herpes, tax-evasion, road rage, and herpes. All rights reserved. Friends don’t let friends text and drive.